Saturday

The Paranoid Microbiologist


My friend Christy finished her Master's degree in Microbiology about a year ago and we were all very happy for her. In fact, we even seemed happier than she did. On the night of her graduation party, after a few shots of tequila, she drunkenly smiled at me and said:
"Can you feel them? The 10 thousand microbe species inhabiting your innards slowly revolting against you? They are there, inside you and they're angry. We humans have put too much of our trust in antibiotics and other substances with no regard for our millennia-old tenants. Soon, we'll pay the price... The symbiotic beings that have helped humanity evolve by fighting off millions of harmful pathogens will soon deem us unworthy of the alliance we have formed. They will unite and punish us for our wicked ways... Drink up fast. Only hard liquor subdues them."
I'm not sure how much of it she really believed, but I could sense the paranoia in Christy's eyes, slowly growing like a culture of E. coli. 

23 comments:

  1. Funny and crazy story! I like your drawings in blu-white colour... but I think this with more colours sould be great!!

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  2. It is strange to think so many little beings are actually inside your body, capable of turning against it any second.
    But then again and wonderful as life is, sometimes my husband and I alternate between moods of "OMG babies, so cute!" and "OMG, parasite much?"

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  3. Nuki - thanks. you're probably right about adding more colors, but i'm kind of limited by theme, materials, time, and talent. however, you're great with colors, maybe you should give it a try...

    Laury - i'm actually posting something on the baby theme in a couple of days.
    as for the other 'parasites', we really owe them our lives. no man is an island and neither are species. i've no idea how (im)possible a 'unified revolt' might be, but i'm pretty sure it would be devastating.

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  4. "Seelig sind die geistig Armen", is a saying in German. I don´t know if there is a counterpart for it in English. It has two meanings. On one hand it can have the meaning that the dumb ones are the happiest in general, but on the other you can also say that the ones who don´t know certain things are the most happy people in the world.
    Your friend works in a job in which she has to know about microbes and such. It sure is interesting, but other people who don´t know how many little intruders we have on and in our bodies will never be really paranoid about that.
    So in this case it fits. Seelig sind die geistig Armen.

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  5. 'Ignorance is bliss' is the closest i can think of.
    i had a couple of microbiolgy classes in college and we'd always feel sick when the teacher explained the dangers of food, especially minced meat. even though it can be awful, personally, i always prefer the pains of knowledge.

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  6. Great story and great pictures! :)

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  7. The pains of knowledge...
    Yeah I want to know everything, too. It is better than ignoring things. Even if not knowing about some things can be a relief...

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  8. Nick - thanks a lot.

    Kat - its a hard choice to make. knowledge and the consequences or a nice comfortable sleep.

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  9. Seelig sind die geistig Armen stammt aus einem Asterixfilm, denke ich...

    ...microbiology: find out, what kind of insect swims in your beer...? ;o)

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  10. @Octapolis
    Asterixfilm? Echt jetzt?! Naja strunz eigentlich, es ist ein echt wahrer Spruch ;-)

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  11. unless its some specific beer, a fungus called Saccharomyces cerevisiae is what's normally used. i don't know about insects.

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  12. @Kat
    Dachte ich zumindest bis heute, habs aber gerade mal Google zum Frass vorgeworfen und das Zitat scheint leicht abgewandelt doch der Bibel zu entspringen. Wie auch immer, wahr bleibt wahr! ;o)

    @Gabriel
    this should be a joke... i just meant something like a dead fly in a glass of beer, or something. ;o)

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  13. haha! my friends and i call those things 'protein bonuses' ;)

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  14. Nice thought actually... Who knows ? May be it is how the world will end ;)lol

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  15. Awesome story! Could totally be a post-apocalyptic theme.

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  16. the "Begotten" was disturbing and some-what "Creepy"...
    Hope you are well... making progress on updating the "Crypt" ("Labels") And We Thank You for the many comments that you post ..... Have a pleasant Monday....
    Your good "fiend" ...the Doctor

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  17. Basil - i think its unlikely, but who knows? the world changes so fast.

    Nietzsche - thanks. i've always loved the post-apocalyptic theme.

    Dr. Theda - thanks. have a nice week.

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  18. Interesting idea. I like how the microbe monster has no heart. Great work!

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  19. thanks. a heartless being, but maybe we've been the heartless ones. at least, towards nature.

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  20. Damn, now I have to go get a bottle of booze to survive. Thanks a lot. ;)

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  21. it cures a cold better than any pharmaceutical ;)

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  22. Protein bonusses... Yeah :-) Like in those old kung-fu films when master and apprentice are eating rice and the master catches a fly with his chopsticks, eats it like it is totally normal and continues with his meal :-D

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Crack it up...