Wednesday

The Burning Balls Guy




Two friends and I were at the beach a few summers ago. We laid out our stuff, tried out the water, and then decided to lay down for a bit. Paolo sat in the middle. After a long while of sun bathing, he suddenly jumped up and started screaming: “I’m burning! I’m burning! My balls are burning!” In his head the long exposure to the sun had somehow induced his balls to spontaneously combust. A few seconds later the pain lessened and he looked at his junk inspecting the damage. There were some mysterious small burn marks. My other friend, sitting on Paolo’s left side, was finishing a cigarette and started laughing… The answer was there: A little bit of ash flew with the wind over to Paolo’s shorts and since they’re made of synthetic fabric, the ash easily burned into his ball sack. Paolo was relieved. A bit of cigarette ash is much more reassuring then having to face the possibility of testicles spontaneously combusting. 
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!

19 comments:

  1. Very humorous. It seems smoking doesn't only hurt our health. :)

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  2. Hahahah! Nice line at the end.

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  3. Elizabeth - thanks. so it seems.

    Jay - thanks.

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  5. Poor guy. His hairy nature didn't help at all ;) Those are some big flames.

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  6. xD That crazy... and poor boy xDD

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  7. Great balls of fire! HAHAHA! Hey, he's lucky he hadn't just slathered up with sunscreen. Remember the story I posted about the guy that caught on fire after putting on sunscreen?

    Love the drawing too! HAHAHAHAHA!

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  8. The face expression of your illustration is priceless!

    I once had the thesis that spontaneous combusting happens to people who inhale to many hairspray just before they start smoking. Haha :-)

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  9. I don't have any balls, but man that's gotta hurt :P
    Balls of fury!

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  10. Nuki - poor boy? yes. crazy? only as crazy as the truth :)

    David - thanks. always liked Jerry Lee Lewis. yeah, i remember that being a weird one. i can only imagine the ball of fire if my friend

    Kat - ha! it was even better in real life. haha! thats an interesting theory. my mom creates a cloud of hairspray when she fixes her hair, fortunately she doesn't smoke.

    Laury - i'm sure it did. yikes.

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  11. His face is so funny. More than the pain, I'm sure the fear of having his 'boys' burned off was terrifying.

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  12. indeed, when he told me about his initial thoughts i was terrified by the idea.

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  13. Funny Story.....That Dude that "Lived" in that woman's attic ... not very far from here....I told that the Folk around Here are "Crazy"....

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  14. "Roasted Nuts"...LOL

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  15. I posted a Cool "teaser" post on This Post at the "Crypt" ....Thanks Dude for the much needed "Smile"...

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  16. Out of all the things to combust, on a man's body, the nuts are definitely the worst.

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  17. Dr. Theda - thanks man and you're very welcome.

    Jorg - got that right.

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Crack it up...